Tara called me tonight. Just to say hi. Just to see what's been happening. Just to say she's lonely. Just to say she's horny. Just to say she wants to fuck. Just to say she misses the way I held her, kissed her, caressed her, licked her, fucked her. Just to say she still loves me. Just to say she wishes she was here. Just to say she hates Seattle. Just to say she can't stand it there. Just to say no one there understands her. Just to say the guy she broke up with me for isn't the Prince she thought he was. Just to say she thought she was straight but realizes now she's "totally gay". Just to say she wants to come back home. Just to say if I asked her too then she would --
All I could say was, Sorry kid. The conversation got really AWKWARD after that. A lot of sniffles on her end, a lot of bored uncomfortable sighs on mine.
But seriously, how does one respond to something like that? And not to toot my own horn or anything but really, it seems as of late some of my exes are now thinking I may have been "the one" and apparently also that I was a really great lay, which come on who are we kidding, I totally am. Toot. And are now contacting me and texting me and calling me and friend requesting me and -- is the world coming to an end? Are people afraid that 12-12-12 really is it and they want to be married before they die? SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THE DEAL.
But where as I've been put back on their potential list of "ones", they've already been marked on my "no fucking way in hell" list. So again all I can say is, Sorry kids.
All I could say was, Sorry kid. The conversation got really AWKWARD after that. A lot of sniffles on her end, a lot of bored uncomfortable sighs on mine.
But seriously, how does one respond to something like that? And not to toot my own horn or anything but really, it seems as of late some of my exes are now thinking I may have been "the one" and apparently also that I was a really great lay, which come on who are we kidding, I totally am. Toot. And are now contacting me and texting me and calling me and friend requesting me and -- is the world coming to an end? Are people afraid that 12-12-12 really is it and they want to be married before they die? SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THE DEAL.
But where as I've been put back on their potential list of "ones", they've already been marked on my "no fucking way in hell" list. So again all I can say is, Sorry kids.
If this had happened in my younger years, sure. Well, maybe. Quite possibly. I would've considered wanting to get back together, but those were the days I gave out second, third, even fourth chances. Now that I'm 27, you get one and only one and that's just the way the cookie crumbles. I don't have time for bullshit and quite frankly I just don't have the patience.
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