Saturday, May 15, 2010

That's Why the Lady is a Tramp.

Sorry for the long absence. I've been battling the flu.

I've been on quite a few dates, even in my weakened state. Several of them have just been shoot-the-shit kind of dates, a few have been very nice and I was starting to think -- I'd finally hit a streak of good dating juju. And then there was Shannon. She and I went on 2.5 dates. I say .5 because at the middle of our third date I just had to break it off, right then and there. She kept harping about this and that. I was holding my fork wrong, I wasn't sipping soup out of my spoon properly, I wasn't raising my pinky when I was drinking out of my glass, etcetera etcetera. She was complaining about how her friends were all so ignorant and how she felt like she was so much smarter than all of them, and that she knows all of her friends are jealous because she is smarter than all of them. Then she was going on and on about how she's good at this and that, how she knows that everyone just loves her and yet she's just this regular normal girl. And after an hour of listening to her kiss her own ass, I just needed to get the fuck out of there.

Here's how it went.

"Please, just stop. Seriously. I can't do this. I just can't. You're a nice girl, just ask yourself. So I don't even see how you're going to care that I can't and don't want to see you anymore. I mean, you have all these people in your life who according to you are borderline obsessed with you and all sorts of men and women just pining after you, that I know you'll have no trouble finding someone else to worship the ground you walk on. So, have a nice life."

Yes, I did pay for dinner. And no I didn't just leave her at the restaurant, she had driven herself there. On my way out, the waiter tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Dude you're like a saint. I would've left within the first 5 minutes."

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