Monday Funday.

Who the hell am I kidding? Every day is a fun day when toys and sexual fantasies are involved. But because I don't want to make myself out to be this horny fucker who doesn't think about anything else but fucking and vaginas and dicks and dildos and butt plugs and facials and flavored lubes and threesomes and foursomes and double-pentrations and -- oh my. Who am I kidding? I am a horny fucker and I really don't think about anything else but all those delicious things. Speaking of which, would you excuse me please? I have to go and change my panties.

[Doo doo doo doo]

Where was I? Oh right -- every Monday Funday, I'm going to share my thoughts on a favorite sex toy or porn star or lubricant or sexcapade. Don't you do that already SJ? No my friends, Monday Funday is sexcapades from A to Z. That's right. I'm hoping this will help me really focus on a topic. ADHD is a good thing when you're participating in a sex marathon, but when it comes to every day life it's kind of debilitating.

[A]: Anal Sex.

The first time I had anal sex was actually the first time I ever had sex. The first time I had sex I was 17 and he was 27. But hey I mean in 10 years I'd be 27 and he'd only be 37 so I mean really, it's not that big of a difference. I suppose you're all thinking that I was way too young, but to be honest, I'd been thinking about getting laid ever since I was 15. So really I think I exhibited some self-control by waiting those 2 years. Well self-control and the fact that my little girl is really picky. Oh sure I'd done things but never uh let the ship dock at the station, if ya know what I mean. To this day, mind you I'm 26, my first time with my Orgasm Angel is in the top 5 of the best lays in my book of sexcapades. And as surprised as I'm sure you all are, I've got a pretty solid novel goin' on here.