What did I do today? Well. Woke up in the morning and played with my clitty. Put my ass cheeks on the floor, come on pinch those titties.
If the porn industry ever decided to go mainstream with their music that song would so be a hit. I had a date tonight. It went -- uh what's a good word for horribly wrong? She was cute but not gorgeous, curvy and had an extremely whiney voice. Minnie Mouse had nothin' on this chick. And she kept checking her phone every 10 minutes. What made it even worse was she was checking her facebook because she wanted to see if her ex-girlfriend saw on her status that she was on a date with another girl because and I quote, she's so like over her, but she's so like not over me. At that point and time, which was about 20 minutes in, I was ready to potty poof. You know, Excuse me I have to go to the potty and then POOF.
Unfortunately I'm not that big of a bitch, and I was feeling guilty for even thinking of ditching out on this chick, so I sucked it up bad conversation and all. When it came time to order she ordered a water, 2 glasses of wine, a softdrink, a salad and soup, an entree and dessert ... I suppose I only have myself to blame since I clearly must have been giving off the I just got paid today vibe. Anyway, after dinner and dessert and coffee this chick is all like yawn how about we go back to my place? And I was actually thinking about it until I realized that she'd probably tape it, and then upload it onto facebook so that her ex-girlfriend could see it. I politely declined. I walked her to her car, opened the door for her and when she went in for the goodbye kiss I shook her hand instead. She called me a prude, slammed the door and sped off. I said, you're welcome to the back of her car. God help the next person she dates. Yeap.
Mars 1. Venus 0.
If the porn industry ever decided to go mainstream with their music that song would so be a hit. I had a date tonight. It went -- uh what's a good word for horribly wrong? She was cute but not gorgeous, curvy and had an extremely whiney voice. Minnie Mouse had nothin' on this chick. And she kept checking her phone every 10 minutes. What made it even worse was she was checking her facebook because she wanted to see if her ex-girlfriend saw on her status that she was on a date with another girl because and I quote, she's so like over her, but she's so like not over me. At that point and time, which was about 20 minutes in, I was ready to potty poof. You know, Excuse me I have to go to the potty and then POOF.
Unfortunately I'm not that big of a bitch, and I was feeling guilty for even thinking of ditching out on this chick, so I sucked it up bad conversation and all. When it came time to order she ordered a water, 2 glasses of wine, a softdrink, a salad and soup, an entree and dessert ... I suppose I only have myself to blame since I clearly must have been giving off the I just got paid today vibe. Anyway, after dinner and dessert and coffee this chick is all like yawn how about we go back to my place? And I was actually thinking about it until I realized that she'd probably tape it, and then upload it onto facebook so that her ex-girlfriend could see it. I politely declined. I walked her to her car, opened the door for her and when she went in for the goodbye kiss I shook her hand instead. She called me a prude, slammed the door and sped off. I said, you're welcome to the back of her car. God help the next person she dates. Yeap.
Mars 1. Venus 0.
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