So, I lost my cute little hot pink vibrator, and hadn't been able to find it ANYWHERE. I couldn't very well go call up my Mother and say, "Hey did I by any chance leave my vibrator at your house when I was there? I've been really horny lately and sometimes a hand just doesn't cut it." I checked my pillows, my bed spread, the closet, my sex toy drawer. Yes, I do indeed have a sex toy drawer. What resides in that drawer? A 12 inch flesh colored dildo, yeah I uh went black and never could fully go back, but I still got love for my white mens. Especially the firecrotches.
Mm, firecrotches. DROOL Actually, speaking from personal experience, all red heads seem to be blessed with really large cocks.
A tickler for my g-spot, however I have yet to have a mind-blowing orgasm with it, a vibrating blue dildo, which actually is broken. Cheap plastic. You know I have this theory about the sex toy industry, and how they found a way to implant some sort-of chip that is hardwired or something to break the shit after 2 months. Yeah that's why it broke. It had nothing to do with hours and hours of non-stop vigorous self-fucking. And then there's some massage oils, KY his and hers, which may very well cause a fantastical climax for people, but don't ask me, because I was too busy thinking my vagina was going to fall off because that shit fucking burned. Is it supposed to? Why do I still have it? I'm a glutton for punishment, and because if a fuckbuddy is pissing me off I like to rub it all over their balls and see them squeal. Yes. I was a dominatrix in a former life.
All the toys are buried underneath a green stuffed frog. Great camouflage, eh? I thought so. But yesterday, after moving my bed, because it dawned on me after a week of freezing my ass off, that my bed was blocking the heat vent ... Guess I didn't look hard enough because it was right in the corner under my bed. I actually came a little in my pants out of sheer excitement. Time for some wicked orgasms, oh yeah. Hope I don't get a serious case of vagina elbow from too much masturbation. HEY, it only happened once. I've since learned to take a break after 2 hours of continuous masturbation. So. There.
Mm, firecrotches. DROOL Actually, speaking from personal experience, all red heads seem to be blessed with really large cocks.
A tickler for my g-spot, however I have yet to have a mind-blowing orgasm with it, a vibrating blue dildo, which actually is broken. Cheap plastic. You know I have this theory about the sex toy industry, and how they found a way to implant some sort-of chip that is hardwired or something to break the shit after 2 months. Yeah that's why it broke. It had nothing to do with hours and hours of non-stop vigorous self-fucking. And then there's some massage oils, KY his and hers, which may very well cause a fantastical climax for people, but don't ask me, because I was too busy thinking my vagina was going to fall off because that shit fucking burned. Is it supposed to? Why do I still have it? I'm a glutton for punishment, and because if a fuckbuddy is pissing me off I like to rub it all over their balls and see them squeal. Yes. I was a dominatrix in a former life.
All the toys are buried underneath a green stuffed frog. Great camouflage, eh? I thought so. But yesterday, after moving my bed, because it dawned on me after a week of freezing my ass off, that my bed was blocking the heat vent ... Guess I didn't look hard enough because it was right in the corner under my bed. I actually came a little in my pants out of sheer excitement. Time for some wicked orgasms, oh yeah. Hope I don't get a serious case of vagina elbow from too much masturbation. HEY, it only happened once. I've since learned to take a break after 2 hours of continuous masturbation. So. There.
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