Woke up this morning to a text from Ang (518) I miss you. Yeah, I'm sure you do. I played your vagina liek a violin for hours, but you broke the rule babe and once you break the rule finis.
Rule? I have one rule when it comes to my partners and that is, if you want an open relationship, fine. I'm completely 100% open. Literally. All you have to do is tell me. But if you want a committed relationship, don't cheat on me. I think that's a pretty easy rule to follow. Don't you?
At first, Ang and I were just friends who occasionally made out with each other, and then we were friends who occasionally fucked, and then Ang and I started talking outside of the booty call hours and she started to want to do all of this girlfriend-girlfriend stuff. I told her I wasn't looking to be in a relationship and she said, a little too quickly now that I think about it, that it was fine with her and she could "deal". A few months into our "relationship" though, she gave me this ultimatum, either we commit to each other or she's leaving for good. First off, ultimatums are not sexy and they make the person look hm like a douchebag. Which is exactly what I told her, and then ugh she started crying. So of course, now I felt like a huge asshole and I didn't really know what to do. It wasn't the little sniffle sniffle crying, it was like the full-blown bereaved widow who's ready to jump into the casket sort-of wailing. She wouldn't stop. The only thing I could think of to get her to stop was to fuck her until she passed out. And, stupid me, I thought that after the multiple orgasms she had, I'd managed to fuck her retarded and she'd forget about it and everything would go back to just being chill. Nope. The minute she woke up she was on me like white on rice, Did you think about it?! What's your answer!? I need to know?!? NOW!
Now, I've been in this situation before, except I've been on Ang's end. Of course, this was way back when, when I actually wanted to be in a relationship and I actually believed in true love and all that other nonsense. So I thought to myself, first mistake right there - thinking - maybe this'll be different and maybe this could turn into something serious and maybe this will get her to shut the fuck up. So I said, "Okay" and for 6 months it was going pretty good. I didn't even mind that she was starting to leave ALL of her shit at my apartment, and basically just invading all of my personal space that I so much prided on having before. We were becoming pretty close. I wouldn't say I was in love but rather in like with Ang, and that is a pretty big step for me considering I vowed never to be in a relationship EVER AGAIN.
And then all of the sudden, just like the winds change right before a big storm, Ang started becoming all agitated at just about damn near everything, starting fights for no reason, and spending a lot of time with an old friend, Jen, from highschool, who was having a lot of trouble with her boyfriend. Texting her at all hours of the night, constantly being on the phone with her, ditching me to go and be with her and to tell you the truth I didn't mind. In relationships past I used to get jealous and scream and cry over the tiniest things, but a whole lot of good that didn't do me. After my umpteenth failed relationship I just was able to remove all that from myself. Don't ask how because I honestly have no idea. It just happened, one day I woke up and poof emotions gone. But even the unemotional have their limits, and my limit was Ang wanting to go and move in with Jen after her boyfriend dumped her, ironically right after Ang forgot to renew her lease on her apartment, because she was afraid Jen would hurt herself and she couldn't afford to keep the apartment by herself.
Yes. You can all see where this is going. And I guess you can all see just how dumb Ang thought I was.
I asked her flatout if she was cheating on me which lead to more wailing. If any of you have ever been cheated on and confronted the cheater about it, you've probably heard a variation of the following, "I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. [Insert Name] and I, we started out just as friends, and then it lead to something more. Honestly, we didn't start sleeping with each other until much later. You and I, we're just so different. I thought that our differences would be something that complemented each of us but ... We don't like ALL of the same things and we don't even have the same friends. I really didn't plan on this happening. I'm so sorry. It's me, it's all me. [Insert Name], loves me in a way that you don't and I don't think will ever be able too. I'm so sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you. Please don't hate me. I'm so sorry."
I suppose I could've called her a slut and slapped her, or threw all of her shit out the window, or started screaming until my throat was hoarse, or started sobbing hysterically and doing all that other girly shit but I didn't. I just calmly asked her to take all of her shit and leave. As she was packing her things, more than half of which were things I had bought her because she couldn't afford to buy any of it, she kept mumbling over and over, "I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me." Truth of the matter is, if she'd just up and told me she was falling for someone else, I would've been really happy for her. And she was right, I couldn't love her the way that she wanted to be loved at the exact moment she wanted it, but I don't know about the not ever being able too part. And that part I mean in general because I used to be able to love anyone at the drop of a hat, which was basically my downfall in the end of every single one of those relationships. It's funny how you think you learn something from one failed relationship and you try and apply it to a new one, and it so ends up not applying to that relationship at all.
As soon as the door closed behind her, I changed the sheets, and went about moving everything over, closet, bathroom, etcetera. The next morning I woke up in the middle of the bed, and right then and there I knew I was going to be okay. It's not that I wasn't hurting, no matter how many times you get cheated on, it doesn't get any easier to get over. But I wasn't going to sink into that deep depression like I used to let myself get into after a relationship ended. Ang kept texting me (518) Are you okay? Do you hate me? I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Please don't tell everyone about this. Can we be friends? I just didn't answer. It's not that I was being bitter or trying to punish her, I just really had nothing to say.
Once you cheat on me, we're done. I want nothing to do with you. Now look, I'm no Angel and I'm fully willing to admit that. I have done things that would make a Priest throw up, but I have never ever cheated on someone. She stopped after about 3 weeks and I thought that she'd just given up, but then she texted me about a month after (518) Jen dumped me. She's in love with someone else. Now I know what you're all wondering. What was my response? I could've said (585) KARMA IS A BITCH. But I didn't. I didn't say anything actually and she didn't say anything after that. Up until last night I hadn't heard from her in about 4 months, and you know I really wish that we could go back to being friends because we had a great friendship, but I know it's not possible, because she'll want to be a couple again and I could never date her ever again. The trust is completely gone and no matter how many times she apologized or tried to prove herself I just wouldn't be able to believe her, and if there's no trust in a relationship there's no point in being in one.
And that's all I have to say about that.
Rule? I have one rule when it comes to my partners and that is, if you want an open relationship, fine. I'm completely 100% open. Literally. All you have to do is tell me. But if you want a committed relationship, don't cheat on me. I think that's a pretty easy rule to follow. Don't you?
At first, Ang and I were just friends who occasionally made out with each other, and then we were friends who occasionally fucked, and then Ang and I started talking outside of the booty call hours and she started to want to do all of this girlfriend-girlfriend stuff. I told her I wasn't looking to be in a relationship and she said, a little too quickly now that I think about it, that it was fine with her and she could "deal". A few months into our "relationship" though, she gave me this ultimatum, either we commit to each other or she's leaving for good. First off, ultimatums are not sexy and they make the person look hm like a douchebag. Which is exactly what I told her, and then ugh she started crying. So of course, now I felt like a huge asshole and I didn't really know what to do. It wasn't the little sniffle sniffle crying, it was like the full-blown bereaved widow who's ready to jump into the casket sort-of wailing. She wouldn't stop. The only thing I could think of to get her to stop was to fuck her until she passed out. And, stupid me, I thought that after the multiple orgasms she had, I'd managed to fuck her retarded and she'd forget about it and everything would go back to just being chill. Nope. The minute she woke up she was on me like white on rice, Did you think about it?! What's your answer!? I need to know?!? NOW!
Now, I've been in this situation before, except I've been on Ang's end. Of course, this was way back when, when I actually wanted to be in a relationship and I actually believed in true love and all that other nonsense. So I thought to myself, first mistake right there - thinking - maybe this'll be different and maybe this could turn into something serious and maybe this will get her to shut the fuck up. So I said, "Okay" and for 6 months it was going pretty good. I didn't even mind that she was starting to leave ALL of her shit at my apartment, and basically just invading all of my personal space that I so much prided on having before. We were becoming pretty close. I wouldn't say I was in love but rather in like with Ang, and that is a pretty big step for me considering I vowed never to be in a relationship EVER AGAIN.
And then all of the sudden, just like the winds change right before a big storm, Ang started becoming all agitated at just about damn near everything, starting fights for no reason, and spending a lot of time with an old friend, Jen, from highschool, who was having a lot of trouble with her boyfriend. Texting her at all hours of the night, constantly being on the phone with her, ditching me to go and be with her and to tell you the truth I didn't mind. In relationships past I used to get jealous and scream and cry over the tiniest things, but a whole lot of good that didn't do me. After my umpteenth failed relationship I just was able to remove all that from myself. Don't ask how because I honestly have no idea. It just happened, one day I woke up and poof emotions gone. But even the unemotional have their limits, and my limit was Ang wanting to go and move in with Jen after her boyfriend dumped her, ironically right after Ang forgot to renew her lease on her apartment, because she was afraid Jen would hurt herself and she couldn't afford to keep the apartment by herself.
Yes. You can all see where this is going. And I guess you can all see just how dumb Ang thought I was.
I asked her flatout if she was cheating on me which lead to more wailing. If any of you have ever been cheated on and confronted the cheater about it, you've probably heard a variation of the following, "I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. [Insert Name] and I, we started out just as friends, and then it lead to something more. Honestly, we didn't start sleeping with each other until much later. You and I, we're just so different. I thought that our differences would be something that complemented each of us but ... We don't like ALL of the same things and we don't even have the same friends. I really didn't plan on this happening. I'm so sorry. It's me, it's all me. [Insert Name], loves me in a way that you don't and I don't think will ever be able too. I'm so sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you. Please don't hate me. I'm so sorry."
I suppose I could've called her a slut and slapped her, or threw all of her shit out the window, or started screaming until my throat was hoarse, or started sobbing hysterically and doing all that other girly shit but I didn't. I just calmly asked her to take all of her shit and leave. As she was packing her things, more than half of which were things I had bought her because she couldn't afford to buy any of it, she kept mumbling over and over, "I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me." Truth of the matter is, if she'd just up and told me she was falling for someone else, I would've been really happy for her. And she was right, I couldn't love her the way that she wanted to be loved at the exact moment she wanted it, but I don't know about the not ever being able too part. And that part I mean in general because I used to be able to love anyone at the drop of a hat, which was basically my downfall in the end of every single one of those relationships. It's funny how you think you learn something from one failed relationship and you try and apply it to a new one, and it so ends up not applying to that relationship at all.
As soon as the door closed behind her, I changed the sheets, and went about moving everything over, closet, bathroom, etcetera. The next morning I woke up in the middle of the bed, and right then and there I knew I was going to be okay. It's not that I wasn't hurting, no matter how many times you get cheated on, it doesn't get any easier to get over. But I wasn't going to sink into that deep depression like I used to let myself get into after a relationship ended. Ang kept texting me (518) Are you okay? Do you hate me? I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Please don't tell everyone about this. Can we be friends? I just didn't answer. It's not that I was being bitter or trying to punish her, I just really had nothing to say.
Once you cheat on me, we're done. I want nothing to do with you. Now look, I'm no Angel and I'm fully willing to admit that. I have done things that would make a Priest throw up, but I have never ever cheated on someone. She stopped after about 3 weeks and I thought that she'd just given up, but then she texted me about a month after (518) Jen dumped me. She's in love with someone else. Now I know what you're all wondering. What was my response? I could've said (585) KARMA IS A BITCH. But I didn't. I didn't say anything actually and she didn't say anything after that. Up until last night I hadn't heard from her in about 4 months, and you know I really wish that we could go back to being friends because we had a great friendship, but I know it's not possible, because she'll want to be a couple again and I could never date her ever again. The trust is completely gone and no matter how many times she apologized or tried to prove herself I just wouldn't be able to believe her, and if there's no trust in a relationship there's no point in being in one.
And that's all I have to say about that.
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